World Cup Draw(ings)

Posted: June 28, 2014 in Football, World Cup 2014

Here’s a collection of some of the drawings I did as I  watched the 2014 World Cup. As World Cups go, it was a good one, and more importantly, provided plenty of comic material (and that was just Brazil)

The build-up

Pressure was building for FIFA President, Sepp Blatter before the tournament, but he had the situation under control:

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However, the excitement mounted as he arrived in Sao Paulo for the opening ceremony:

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Those troublesome questions just wouldn’t go away, but, as ever, Sepp had a solution:

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The group stage

Thankfully, the tournament had got off to a great start, meaning I was able to stop relying on Star Wars parodies. Spain provided some early entertainment, with a performance that rolled back the years and reminded us all of a time when they were amusing underachievers. They lost 5-1 to the Netherlands, with Robin Van Persie scoring the pick of the bunch with a remarkable diving header from distance:

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Group C was a toughie. Spain and the Netherlands were joined by Chile and Australia. I thought that the Aussies would be in for a turbulent time, so produced this helpful accessory for Socceroos supporters:

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However, despite losing all three games, Australia played bravely and went home with their pride intact. The same probably couldn’t be said of Spain, but I couldn’t get my hands on an Air Iberia sick bag.

England, meanwhile, did their standard thing of running around a lot to little effect, but found themselves in a tougher group than usual and went out. They played okay in their defeat to Italy, but the margin of defeat could have been greater, with Andrea Pirlo completely wrong-footing Joe Hart with a swerving free kick that hit the bar:

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Actually, Hart had moved even further to his right before the ball swerved:

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England lost their next game to Uruguay and were out, but it was all part of a greater master plan:

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Not long before the tournament, the English FA had outlined a series of recommendations to alter the structure of the domestic game, with a view to improving the fortunes of the national team; a tactic that had previously been be so successful with the formation of the Premier League. Here’s how I imagined they would react to this latest calamity:

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I forgot to draw Greg Dyke’s thumb in the last frame, but as long as I don’t point it out, I doubt anyone will notice.

England were undone in their second game by Luis Suarez, whom you may have heard, later took a bite out of the Italian defender Giorgio Chiellini and was kicked out of the tournament. Uruguay coach, Oscar Tabarez launched the case for the defence:

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Things got weirder as the Uruguayans made increasingly paranoid claims of persecution; blaming, among others, the British media for their cruel harassment of their saintly Luis. Where would it all end, I cried?

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Goodbye, Uruguay’s rose. Commemorative plates will be available by mail order later in time for Christmas (the won’t). Whilst this was bad news for Uruguay, it was celebrated at the meme head offices:

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Elsewhere, Mexico’s flamboyant coach, Miguel Herrera, was giving us all a smile with his touchline antics. I noticed in their first game against Cameroon that he is one of those people who can do really loud whistles without using his fingers. There isn’t much I wouldn’t trade to be able to do that.

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Well organised, that Mexico team. Brazil found this out as they held them to a goalless draw. Talking of Brazil, I’ve noticed a lot of this kind of thing whenever they are on TV:

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Over in Group E France started well, apparently scoring at will against Honduras and Switzerland. They put five past the Swiss, but the most memorable moment came when Cabaye volleyed the ball against the bar from close range as he followed up a saved penalty:

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Switzerland bounced back from that defeat with a convincing win over Honduras, with a hat-trick from Xherdan Shaqiri, a young man who has clearly been eating his greens:

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Honduras didn’t really add much to the tournament, but did have the best badge, consisting simply of a large blue “H”. If England take anything away from this World Cup, it’s that they should follow this example, ditching the three lions for this design:

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Portugal got off to a dreadful start, with a 4-0 defeat to Germany. Arguably the biggest star in world football, Cristiano Ronaldo, was apparently playing but had no noticeable impact:

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They never really recovered from that defeat and were pipped to second place by the United States, whose manager Jurgen Klinsmann appears to be both a good egg and a man who dresses like he has a weekend job in a sports fashion outlet:

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One of the surprise packages of the World Cup has been Algeria. Dreadful in 2010, they’ve turned up this time with more attacking intent and a large backing of boisterous fans. In the last round of matches of the group stage, they saw off Fabio Capello’s Russia. He wasn’t happy, but then again, is he ever?

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The best moment of the first round came when an Algerian substitute blasted the ball into the stands during stoppage time in that game. It made Luis Suarez appear like a paragon of subtlety:

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“Quick, Aleksei, we still have two minutes to get a winner”

“Nope” <PUNT!>

ha ha.

Second Round 

Into the knockout stage. Brazil edged out Chile after a penalty shoot-out, to the rapturous delight of the home crowd.

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One of Brazil’s penalties was taken by Neymar. Here’s a helpful nine-step guide to enable you to take penalties like the Brazilian superstar:

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Just kick it, mate. Brazil were joined in the quarter finals by the Netherlands, who scored two goals at the death to overcome Mexico. The winning goal came via a penalty, following a foul (just about) on Robben. Mexico didn’t take it well.

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To get that cartoon, you really need to have seen the opening episode of Season 3 of Breaking Bad, specifically the bit where the two cartel twins crawl to the shrine. Yep, the best jokes are the ones that require both homework and lengthy explanations.

Germany needed extra time to get past Algeria. The highlight of the game came when the German players conspired to produce a memorably hopeless free kick. Straight from the training ground, this one:

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The United States were heroic in their slender defeat to Belgium, none more so than their goalkeeper Tim Howard, who broke the record for the number of saves in a World Cup match.

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The team’s efforts captured the imagination of the US public, with even the President getting into it:

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The second round was characterised by late drama, which made me wonder whether anyone had come a cropper doing this sort of thing:

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To be fair, that ring road can be a ruddy nightmare.

Quarter Finals

Before each quarter final match, FIFA made the team captains read out anti-discrimination messages. Here, those important messages are translated for English readers:

discrimination0001Brazil employed both physical aggression and religion to beat Colombia, 2-1. David Luiz smacked in a free kick from miles out and then gave praise to a higher power:

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Colombia’s goalscorer, James Rodriguez had been the target for most of Brazil’s foul play, but it was he who pulled a goal back. As he ran back to the halfway line, cameras picked up that he had a disturbingly large insect sat on his arm:

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The Netherlands beat Costa Rica on penalties, with Dutch coach Louis Van Gaal successfully pulling off a bold tactical intervention, bringing on a substitute goalkeeper for the shoot-out. Does this prove Arjen Robben’s theory about Van Gaal having a golden pee pee?

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Probably not very comfortable, that. Some other games happened too, but I only have one pair of hands and a regulation dinkle.

Semi-finals

Everyone was excited about the prospect of Brazil playing again. After all, they play like they are on the beach:

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However, against Germany they came up against a team who play like they are on a football pitch and got thrashed, 7-1. I think it’s fair to say that we all enjoyed that one.

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The prayers of the Brazilian players clearly fell on deaf ears. This could explain why:

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The other semi-final, between the Netherlands and Argentina was less exhilarating. In fact, it could be placed alongside these other things as the very definition of dull:

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I’ve been on that rail replacement service and can personally vouch for its dullness. At this stage of the tournament, I thought we should take a moment to recognise the amount of personal effort we had all put in to watch the World Cup. A real level of commitment was required. You might want to print these badges off, cut them out, laminate them and wear them upon your blazer lapels, as appropriate:

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The Final – Germany 1 Argentina 0

And so, Germany overcame Argentina. Not a classic match, but World Cup finals rarely are. It was, however, hard fought. No-one battled harder than Bastian Schweinsteiger, who was unstoppable:

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However, his opponent Javier Mascherano wasn’t far behind him:

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The biggest shock of the World Cup was that I didn’t draw a cartoon about Mascherano tearing his anus in Argentina’s semi-final win. Honestly, I didn’t know where to start. Another surprise was that Leo Messi was awarded the Player of the Tournament. However, when you consider the shortlist FIFA had drawn up, he probably deserved it:

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Most people agreed that Germany were the best team and deserved to take home the cup. I’ll sign off with this picture and see you all for some more cartoons in the new season. Congratulations, Deutschland!

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Comments
  1. […] World Cup Draw(ings) | The Sunshine Room https://thesunshineroom.com/World Cup Draw(ings). Posted: June 28, 2014 in Football · 0. Here's a collection of some of the quick sketches I've been doing as I've been watching the World Cup. I'll edit this post as the competition progresses, with new drawings at the end of each stage (until sleep deprivation finally takes it's toll and I end up scanning in finger paintings of Amazonian moths): The build-up. Pressure … However, the excitement mounted as he arrived in Sao Paulo for the opening ceremony: Image. […]

  2. Pinak Gandhi says:

    Excellent!!
    Keep up the good work mate!! :)

  3. Glad to see you drawing here again. Keep up the good work.

  4. whoah this weblog is magnificent i like reading your posts.

    Stay up the great work! You already know, lots of persons are
    searching round for this info, you could aid them greatly.

  5. Gurdit says:

    How does this only have 3 replies? This is easily one of the best posts I’ve read on the World Cup. Can’t wait to see some drawings of the Brazil – Germany match, and whatever happens in the final, I want to see the highlight in this unique format :)

  6. A. says:

    Simply incredible. One of best comics about world cup. I pray that You will post every week, when BPL start. Good thing for You, that praying is worthless.

  7. rainnsunshine says:

    awesome…

  8. […] Illustrator David Squires created a collection of drawings after watching the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. ‘As World Cups go, it was a good one, and more importantly, provided plenty of comic material (and that was just Brazil),’ says David, whose complete series can be viewed here […]

  9. […] Illustrator David Squires created a collection of drawings after watching the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. ‘As World Cups go, it was a good one, and more importantly, provided plenty of comic material (and that was just Brazil),’ says David, whose complete series can be viewed here […]

  10. […] Illustrator David Squires created a collection of drawings after watching the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. ‘As World Cups go, it was a good one, and more importantly, provided plenty of comic material (and that was just Brazil),’ says David, whose complete series can be viewed here […]

  11. Nick says:

    These are truly excellent. Everyone of them made me at least smile, some of them made me chortle out loud (COL).

  12. Tom says:

    God I enjoyed that so much…

  13. Jaime Losada says:

    Just GREAT !!!

  14. Jilly Welch says:

    I’m a girl and I laughed a lot.

  15. William says:

    Very pleased to see some of the wonderful World Cup illustrations getting exposure in the Guardian today. Please keep up the great work.

  16. Liam Bekker says:

    This is genuinely amazing, thoroughly entertaining!. You have a genuine talent! Something like this would sell like crazy as a coffee-table book, perhaps you should consider having it printed and published? Either way, keep it up!

  17. […] Illustrator David Squires created a collection of drawings after watching the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. ‘As World Cups go, it was a good one, and more importantly, provided plenty of comic material (and that was just Brazil),’ says David, whose complete series can be viewed here […]

  18. Alex says:

    Absolutely hilarious!

  19. Every one of those cartoons was spot on but the Muller free kick was genius.

    Loved reliving the experience.

  20. Sara says:

    Genuine LOLs. Especially loved England badge design and Mesut Ozil’s eyes.

  21. jimmyjx51 says:

    The Suarez case was an absolute joke. People just feel threatened by something they’ve rarely seen before, and then launch a persecution in an effort of “cleansing”, while in fact he didn’t do even the least bit of harm. Sad. I really feel sympathetic for Suarez over the years:

    1. The “racial abuse” case: The “n” word is NOT a racial insult in Spanish. It’s just THE normal word to use. If it is, then hundreds of millions of Spanish-speaking person are all “racist”. The case was incredibly hypocritical and arrogant.

    2. The Ivanovic biting case: People who deliberately lash out at opponents or break others’ legs don’t get anything, but he gets 9 matches, a length rarely seen in PL? Violent influence? Would kids go around their neighborhoods trying to bite others’ body parts off after viewing that? Ridiculous.

    3. The “disloyal” case: He was the No.1 football star of Liverpool, with a quality high and above of everybody else. Liverpool couldn’t afford letting him go, not to mention at a potentially lowered price. This has nothing to do with “support” but much more about their own club interest. Then out of nowhere the media shaped the case as if Suarez owe the club big time. The truth is, if Liverpool denounced Suarez and sold him to for example Madrid, the Spanish fans couldn’t be happier and couldn’t care less about his so-called “negativity” which only seems to be valid in England anyways, and Suarez could have won everything with them already. Why should he supposedly by “graceful” for something that, instead of helping him, probably held him from higher achievements? This is bastard logic, really.

    Not that I like Suarez, but neither do I think he is a devil. In essence he is just like some other LAM players, a little bit dirty and likes diving, which doesn’t give a righteous case for others to shape him like this. Ask anybody outside of Britain what they think of Suarez, many will give you a totally different answer. The power of media to manipulate mainstream thoughts surely is terrifying and disgusting. Hope he goes on being fantastic in Spain and leave such a hostile environment behind.

  22. Sinuap Akid says:

    Simply brilliant.

  23. […] La finale de la Coupe du Monde semble avoir été il y a une éternité. En fait, ça ne fait que 6 jours. L’occasion de revenir sur la compétition classée déjà parmi les meilleures de l’histoire : de la claque des Pays-Bas à l’Espagne au fiasco anglais. David Squires revient en tout cas sur le Mondial avec d’excellentes illustrations. L’artiste australien retrace les meilleurs moments de la Coupe du Monde au Brésil. De l’avant tournoi à la finale, avec du Robin Van Persie, Miguel Herrera, des Brésiliens en larmes ou la frappe monumentale sur la barre de Yohan Cabaye. Tout son excellent travail à retrouver ici. […]

  24. Lee Petrak says:

    Marvellous stuff. Easily the most amusing set of illustrations I’ve seen since the first time I saw gary Larson’s work. Brilliant stuff.

  25. Adrian Brown says:

    Absolutely superb. Great cartoons, incredibly witty and insightful at the same time. You must, must produce a book of your work!

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